Anywhere But Here
by SilverMistedMoon
Summary: In the wake of Aizen's betrayal, Byakuya is left devastated and bereft of his honor. As she tries to help him cope, Yoruichi finds herself swept up in helping him train for a private battle against Aizen.
1. Pieces of a Shattered Heart

**Anywhere But Here**

**(AN**Hi! Just a note to readers that I have moved this story here to make it easier to find. All stories on this account are 'K' or 'T' rated.)**

**XXXXXXXXXX**

_**With deep reverence, my lips moved in the shape of my promises. I sought to honor my love for those fallen, to make myself a slave to their needs. I forgot my own desire and the heart that beat within my breast. And forgotten, it beat on its own, even after my promises collided and it should have been stilled.**_

_**XXXXXXXXXX**_

**Chapter 1: Pieces of a Shattered Heart**

"Kuchiki Taichou?"

He didn't want to open his eyes, didn't want to see the sweet, concerned face of Unohana Taichou leaning over him. He wasn't supposed to be here, lying in a hospital bed, bandaged from throat to waist, surrounded by agony as much in his mind as in his ravaged body. He should have gone to join his wife and parents in death. Instead he lay in the fourth division, the pain in his body secondary to that in his badly shattered heart. He didn't want to look anyone in the eyes…didn't want to have his failures thrown in his face.

But his failures were everywhere, it seemed. They were reflected in the kind eyes of the fourth division taichou and the healers who tended his wounds, in the body that had failed him and continued to do so every time he sought to move. It was in the ghostly presence of his fukutaichou who sat by the door, downcast and cutting away absently at a piece of wood…and it was in the lack of power he felt to control any aspect of his current existence.

He couldn't affect anything. He couldn't make Unohana Taichou's kind eyes go away and leave him to his misery, couldn't shut out the whispers of the other healers who leaned over him, whispering when they thought he was asleep. He couldn't make his fukutaichou abandon him to his sorry fate and couldn't climb out that damned bed and flash step away.

So he left it behind by sinking into his mind. He gave Unohana polite glances when she came, ignored the words of the other healers, even when what was said was painful, patently ignored the shadowy figure at the door and sank into blankness.

It worked for a while.

Until Rukia walked into the room.

Then all Kuchiki Byakuya wanted to do was to disappear.

He had told her everything, had given her a truth he had promised never to tell. He had broken his promise to Hisana…had proven himself as unworthy of her love as he had always felt. And he had apologized, so why did she keep coming to him? Why did she sit by him for hours as he slept? Why did she keep talking to him as if she cared anything about what happened to him now? She should hate him for everything he had done, the lies he had told himself, her, everyone…and for the broken promise to keep her safe.

Being pierced by Gin's blade wasn't nearly enough to pay for his mistakes, for his foolishness, for how badly he had let himself be deceived.

He should, he thought, flash step to Hueco Mundo and get Gin to finish the job. Not that he hadn't tried to be thorough, but his target had been Rukia, and the fact that Byakuya had been flash stepping at blinding speed was the only reason he hadn't been killed immediately. He knew it had been close. Had Aizen Sousuke been a bit more into the telling of the tale of his betrayal or had their exit been delayed for any reason, his servants would have been hollowing out the place where he would be lying in permanent repose and Rukia would, very ironically, be mourning him.

"Kuchiki Taichou, Rukia is here to see you. Shall I allow her in?" asked Unohana Taichou.

He didn't know why she even bothered asking. She was going to send the girl in no matter what he said, so he ignored the question, staring out the window and trying not to listen as her footsteps echoed in the hallway outside his door, her voice sounded as she greeted Abarai Renji, who still sat in his doorway, and as her steps carried her to his bedside. He could see her out of the corner of his eye as she sat down.

Perhaps she wouldn't try to speak to him. Perhaps his silence was getting through to her. He didn't want her here. He didn't deserve to have her sit so dutifully at his side. She should be off and residing with the friends who saved her, far from the bastard who had nearly let her be executed.

"Nii-sama…"

So she hadn't given up. He didn't know whether to be disappointed in her for her pursuit of such futility or if he should be proud of her for her resolve.

"Nii-sama, won't you please speak to me?"

_I can't._

"Nii-sama, I don't understand why you won't say anything."

_I'm far too ashamed of myself._

"If you are angry at me…I am sorry. Just tell me what I can do to make it right. I don't want there to be silence between us. The worst is over. It's time for all of us to heal. It's time for us all to make amends. So, whatever I've done, please believe me when I tell you I'm sorry!"

"Stop…"

He blinked in surprise. He hadn't meant to say anything.

"I'm not angry. But I want you to leave."

There was a long silence and he could feel her struggling with whether or not to obey him. Before, she would have been too afraid to refuse his orders…but this hadn't really been an order. It had, he realized belatedly, been phrased as a request. That left room for negotiation.

"No."

He turned and met her eyes directly.

"What did you say to me?" he asked quietly.

Her eyes filled with tears and her body trembled, but she forced her answer out with her head held high and her expression one of finality.

"I said no, Nii-sama. I'm not going to leave you."

And so he found himself with two ghosts tormenting him. And that was far too much for him to tolerate. He couldn't bear it anymore. He waited until darkness had fallen and the two ghosts had fallen still and slumped in their chairs, until there was a lull between healers coming in to examine him. Slowly, he worked his way to his knees and crawled across the bed, his head lowered against his body's complaints. He reached the window and slipped out, following the ledge to a place where he could work his way down. He knew better than to attempt to use his flash step or to just jump from the third floor. His spirit centers had shut down when he was injured. And that left him with no powers to speak of.

But he didn't need his powers to do what he was planning to do. All he needed was to stop in at the manor and to collect some more appropriate clothing. He wasn't especially happy about traipsing around in the middle of the night in the simple white yukata he wore, but there was no choice. His shihakushou had been shredded in all of the fighting and this was all he had left to him.

He dropped down to the ground and reeled for a moment as pain shot through his chest from the exertion of climbing down and dizziness swept over him. His legs shook and threatened to collapse, but he took slow, deep breaths and gradually regained his equilibrium.

He tried to walk in the shadows, although he didn't see anyone about. It was late at night, so most of the Seireitei was asleep. A few times, he thought he felt a trailing reiatsu, but with his spirit centers shut down, he couldn't be sure. He shook his head in annoyance and kept walking.

He knew the motions of the guards at Kuchiki Manor and had no trouble slipping in undetected, even without the use of his flash step. He moved down the silent hallway and into his room, then searched his closet and dresser for several changes of clothes. After gathering another few necessities, he slipped out into the gardens and waited until the guards passed by him, then he passed through the back gate and into the forested area beyond.

It was a relief not to have to mask his reiatsu as he walked the forest path. Now beyond guards and risk of discovery, Byakuya began to relax and just blend into his surroundings. The trail wound through the trees and emerged at the top of a grassy cliff covered in sakura trees. Amongst the trees was a large waterfall that spilled down into a large blue lake. He had to slow and work his way carefully down a set of switchbacks to reach the lake and the open meadow beyond.

The sun was rising by the time he reached the meadow and, anxious to avoid discovery, Byakuya worked his way to a stand of large oak trees that concealed another small trail. This one wound around and through the oaks, up and over several rises, then down into a well concealed valley. It was this valley he had sought, because of its remoteness and its beauty.

Now, this was a place that would promote healing. He found a small stream and followed it to where it entered a deep, cave-like depression in the side of a hill. He set down his provisions within it and went out to where long grasses grew in an open field. He used a field knife he had brought to cut some of the grass and carried it back to the cave. He used this to make a soft bed and then laid down to rest. The area was filled with berry bushes and the stream would provide fresh water and fish. And here, he was away from the clutter of emotions, the harsh memories and the ones who worried too much and tried to decide things for him.

He tried to sleep, but was kept awake by the throbbing in his chest. He had, he realized put too much strain on his body and now he was paying the price. But he didn't need to leave the cave any time soon. So now he could relax and focus on letting body and mind heal. There was nothing here to remind him of his failures…of his shortcomings…of his losses. His mind could go blank and unfocused here…could center itself on the beauty of the land around him by day and the moon and stars at night, and he would be able to force the unpleasantness away.

He rested there for a long time watching the clouds float by and listening to bird sounds. Gradually, the throbbing in his chest eased and he was able to drift off.

XXXXXXXXXX

Rukia shifted uncomfortably in her chair and slowly opened her eyes. She blinked several times, not wanting to believe that the bed beside her now stood empty. She looked out the window to where the new day was dawning and felt a deep sadness.

He was in pain and he was alone.

She couldn't stand to think of him being alone like that. Whatever he had or hadn't done, however he might have failed in his own eyes, Kuchiki Byakuya was still her brother and Kuchiki Rukia was not going to abandon him…not even with him being so convinced that he wanted and deserved to be abandoned.

She came to her feet and crossed the room to where Renji slept in his chair by the door.

"Renji?" she called softly.

The redhead let out a snore and didn't answer.

"Renji," she said again, prodding him.

There was still no response.

"Renji!" she said loudly, shoving him and sending him crashing to the floor.

"What the hell was that for?" he yelled, "Rukia!"

He stopped as he realized why she was waking him. He stared at the empty bed and then at Rukia, his face becoming solemn.

"Do you have any ideas where you think he might go?" he asked quietly, "You don't think he just went home, right?"

Rukia shook her head.

"And it will be nearly impossible to track him with his spirit centers shut down and not being able to use his powers. Renji…it's going to be really hard to find him."

"Yeah," Renji agreed, scratching his head and thinking, "I think we're going to have to do some searching around for clues if we're going to find him."

He looked out the window and thought for a moment.

"You don't think we should maybe just let him be?" he queried.

Rukia shook her head.

"He's alone and hurting. He's not in any condition to be wandering around on his own. We need to find him, Renji. We need to find a way to help him."

"Well, not that I think you're wrong or anything, but what if he doesn't want our help? I mean, we were here with him and he chose to leave. You don't think maybe we should take the hint and give him some space? He does have a lot to deal with."

"I know he has a lot to deal with. And while he does that, he needs to know that he has people on his side…people who care about him, Renji."

Renji thought for a moment and then nodded.

"All right, so we'll look for him. I can go by the sixth division and look for clues there and you can check out Kuchiki Manor. Even if he wanted to get away from it all, he had to have gone to one place or the other for clothing and supplies."

"Good thinking," Rukia said, starting out the door.

She reached the doorway, then paused, looking back at the redhead.

"Thank you, Renji," she said softly, "I know you and my brother had a terrible battle, but I also know that since Aizen Sousuke revealed his treachery, you have really tried to mend fences with him. And I appreciate that."

"Well…despite everything…he is my taichou. And I really misjudged his reasons for acting as he did."

"I think we all misjudged him. We need to find him and make him understand that he can lean on us…that we are here for him, and that, despite everything, he shouldn't blame himself."

"Yeah," Renji agreed, "We all made mistakes…all of us. It wasn't just him."

Rukia nodded and turned away.

"Meet me at Kuchiki Manor when you're done searching around the sixth division headquarters."

"What are you searching for?" asked a feminine voice.

Rukia and Renji stared as Yoruichi walked into the room and stopped, gazing at the empty bed.

"Oh," she said quietly, "I see. He pulled a disappearing act, did he?"

"Yoruichi," Rukia said worriedly, "he disappeared sometime last night and we aren't sure where he's gone. What we do know is that he was wounded too badly to leave the healing center and he really shouldn't be alone right now."

She lowered her eyes.

"I know you probably don't think he deserves our help, but he is my brother and, whatever mistakes he has made, I still love him."

Yoruichi looked back at him with understanding in her eyes.

"Actually, you're wrong in thinking that," she said, still looking at the empty bed, "I've been thinking a lot about what he said to you and I think I understand why he acted as he did. I think I also understand why he left like this. He's in a lot of pain and he's decided to handle it alone, away from everyone. But I'm with you, Rukia. I think we need to find him and talk some sense into him."

Rukia looked up in surprise.

"Did you say…_we_?"


	2. Do Not Go Gently

**Chapter 2: Do Not Go Gently**

_Kill her, Gin…_

"No!"

Byakuya jumped awake, a sharp pain flashing in his chest and the feel of fire on his skin. His chest heaved softly as he sat, sweating and shaking and nearly forgetting where he was. The cave seemed to sway around him and his eyes refused to clear. He moved slightly, wincing as pain shot through him. He cupped a hand and lowered it into the ice-cold water of the stream next to him, relieved he had had the presence of mind to remain within easy reach of it. The cold water eased the ache in his throat and brought his fuzzy mind awake enough to realize the trouble he was in.

It was clear enough the wound had become infected. In the sterile environs of the healing center, it might still have happened but the attentive healers would have caught it even before he sensed it in himself. It had been a reckless decision to leave the healing center, but even as he lay absorbing the facts of his situation, he couldn't be sorry. Because even dying alone in this cave in the middle of nowhere was better than having to sit and be reminded of just how far he had fallen. And it would be better, in any case, to have no one there to see his life end and to witness the soft return of his spirit particles into the ether, than to pass from life in that white-walled hell, listening to the sounds of sorrow that he didn't deserve anyway. No…this was better.

But just because he was fighting a losing battle didn't mean that he was going to yield instantly. He might not be able to heal himself, but he forced himself into a seated position and cautiously removed the bandages. With hands that shook, he carefully cleaned the wound and set fresh bandages in place. He took several more swallows of the ice-cold stream water, trying to force the heat from his flesh. Then, exhausted even from the simple act of caring for his wound, he lay back down and closed his eyes, trying to drift off again.

He did manage to fall asleep after a fashion, but he tossed and turned, the pain in his chest rising until he couldn't quite contain a pained groan. He opened his eyes and found that somehow, he had slept through the day and evening had come again. There was a coldness building deep down inside of him that warned him that he was not likely to survive another night alone.

But the mechanism for being found at this point eluded him. And he wasn't sure at all anymore how he felt about being found or just disappearing. He wavered uncertainly on that tipping point between life and death, teetering and trying to regain his balance. And he heard a voice inside (or was it?) calling his name and telling him to rest, promising to help him. He felt arms slide beneath his body and began to lift him and a cry broke loose from him. It was pain deeply sensed, but that no longer reached his core. But despite everything that was falling apart, everything he could not control, he held on to one thing. He didn't want to go back. He couldn't. He fought the hands that sought to calm him and moaned his objections.

"No…no…you…can't take me…back there. P-put me d-down…at once!"

He felt warm eyes rest on his, but he was beyond recognizing, or in truth, even seeing at all.

"You _are_ a fool, Kuchiki Byakuya!" a woman's voice admonished him.

He knew he should remember her voice. It was so familiar, but the familiar things were slipping away, leaving him lost and shut off from everything, everyone. And finally, his pride began to give way to his stubborn heart…the one that had shattered when he knew how badly he had been used, the one that would do anything to fix the mistakes he had made, the one who longed for warmth to take away the coldness…and the one who knew to trust the hands that wrapped around his.

"Well," said the woman's voice, "If you are going to be difficult, I guess I have no choice, but to try to heal you myself. This wound is badly infected. I don't know how well it will respond to me, but I will attempt to heal it. Close your eyes."

Byakuya felt soft fingertips on his face and allowed them to brush his eyes closed.

A soothing fogginess settled over him and the air around him seemed to suddenly be filled with the scent of wildflowers and sun-warmed grasses. He could feel soft breezes in his hair and the motion of the ground under his feet. He was trailing behind her, but he knew the way she was going, so he poured everything into keeping her within his line of sight. It would only require one small error on her part and he would catch up with her. She weaved madly in and out of the trees…appearing ahead of him and teasing him with her closeness, then disappearing and leaving him flashing forward in her wake.

_They raced up a rocky incline, flash stepping heedlessly, dangerously close to the stones that lay scattered in their path. An inch to the left or right could have meant disaster, but they were beyond fear, moving at lightning speed and leaving small whirlwinds in their wake. He sensed her pausing and had just enough time to realize her intent as she loosened a stone and kicked it into his path, laughing gaily and flash stepping forward as he turned in his path and shot forward again, only to encounter another propelled impediment._

"_Damn you, Demon Cat! You know you cannot win if we play fairly!" he growled._

_She laughed again._

"_Oh, as if the hollows will play fairly with you, Little Byakuya! Don't think so! They will do what they must to snare you!"_

_And suddenly, she wasn't ahead of him or even running anymore. Her arms were wrapped so tightly around his small frame that he couldn't move. He twisted madly in her grasp, cursing furiously._

"_Let go of me, you purple haired bitch! I'll kill you!"_

"_Oh!" she laughed "Look who's talking so tough! We'll see if you still talk so tough when the hollows catch and eat you!"_

"_I'd rather be eaten by a hollow than held by the likes of you! Let go, damn you!"_

_He was completely prepared when she released him and flash stepped away again, but his sword's slash missed by inches, slicing a few bits from the ends of her hair. _

"_I'll get you for that, Little Byakuya!"_

_He wouldn't run…didn't even hesitate. Senbonzakura came up and Byakuya slid to a stop, his senses extended. The air around him had gone silent and still. He made his own breath silent, listening for the slightest sound and ready to detect the smallest change in the spiritual pressure around him. Knowing better than to trust his eyes, he closed them and waited…_

"Byakuya…"

_The voice echoed strangely in his ears, but was so close, he reacted immediately, swinging Senbonzakura and stepping back. Shock exploded through him as his foot sank into empty air._

_But he hadn't been near a cliff! He knew he hadn't!_

_Yet, wherever he had been before, he had now just stepped off the edge of a cliff and into open air. Instantly, he responded by raising his spirit energy to halt himself in the air. It took him one, long, disbelieving moment to realize that his power had inexplicably failed him. Then, he felt an odd feeling in the pit of his stomach as gravity took hold of him and he started to fall. He kept his composure, looking desperately for any handhold. A soft, but incredibly strong hand wrapped around his and was joined by another as his full weight dropped down and the other tried to stop him from falling._

"_Come on, you stubborn jackass! Don't just hang there looking bug-eyed and helpless! Move your feet…try to get a grip of some kind!"_

_And he did move. His legs swung loose in the open air, then struck the cliff wall, knocking rocks and dirt loose, sending them falling…_

"_No! Don't look d…BYAKUYA!"_

_He didn't know how, but the hand that had held his so tightly had somehow lost its grip and he was looking into her eyes and falling._

"Byakuya, help me out here!"

Senbonzakura was still in his hand.

"_Scatter, Senbonzakura."_

"What the…No, DON'T!"

Power flashed wildly around him, an explosion of light and heat and petals. Spirit energy exploded around him, bathing his pain-wracked body in white light. He wasn't falling anymore. He was lying somewhere dark and cold and quiet. Something soft and warm curled under his hand. A deeper voice, but one equally familiar, rose up out of the darkness around him.

"Sleep, now. The worst is over and you are going to be fine, now. Rest."

Although his eyes refused to open, he could hear the morning sounds of birds and could smell the dewy grass. He drifted in comfortable warmth and darkness, lulled by the touches of cool breezes, the trickling of the nearby stream, the buzzing of insects and the soft rumble of purring beneath his open palm.

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya felt his upper body being lifted and the edge of a cup touching his lips. Warm tea flowed into his mouth and he swallowed reflexively, then tried to force his eyes open.

"You just don't know how to listen to anyone, do you? I told you to rest."

"S-senpai?"

"Ah, he speaks. I imagine that's an improvement over trying to attack me…"

"I…what?"

"And he…doesn't remember a thing. Ironic. It may be the closest you've come yet to killing me. But, seriously, you would have gone along for the ride. What were you thinking? Oh wait, you were delirious! That's right! That explains why you almost landed a blow. You couldn't have done that if you'd actually been trying to hit me!"

"Do you _ever_…shut up?"

He managed to force his eyes open, but found it a nearly useless gesture as his eyes refused to focus properly. Drawing a shaky breath, he tried to sit up, but was quickly pushed back down.

"What are you trying to do? Where do you think you would go, even if you could get up?"

"That's easy…away from you…" he muttered, trying to pull away from her.

He winced and put a hand to his chest as pain shot through the area.

"Yeah, by the way, seeing as how you were impaled through the heart, then contracted a major infection (probably because you were your usual stubborn self and refused to stay put), that is going to hurt," Yoruichi said, pushing him down again.

"I'm fine," he managed sullenly.

"Oh, yes," came the sarcasm-laced reply, "You look fine."

"I'm glad you agree…now leave."

"Hmph! Right, I'm going to leave! Did you miss the part where you nearly died last night? You're not out of the woods yet, Byakuya. Whether you know it or not, you are still very weak and feverish. What kind of a friend would I be if I abandoned you now?"

Still unable to focus properly, he simply closed his eyes.

"Actually, I'd say it was true to form, Senpai," he said quietly.

He judged by the sudden silence between them that the blow had found its mark. The cold was returning…and it felt as though his blood had begun to freeze. He said nothing, but couldn't calm the shivering, the soft tremor of his body still fighting the infection. He could feel that she hadn't left him, that she was still there next to him, that he wasn't alone. And despite the long-held disdain, his promise to himself that he would never forgive her for what she had done, a part of him couldn't help but take refuge in the warm, familiar feel of her reiatsu, in the soft touches of her hands. Because, deep down beneath the anger and the feeling of betrayal, beneath the pained half-truthful wish that she had just remained as dead as he had been told she was, Kuchiki Byakuya had to be honest with himself and admit…he had missed her.

He knew from the look on Ginrei's face that something bad had happened. And he was immediately reminded of that day, a few years before, when word came of his father's death. He had no mother. She had died giving birth to him, so who…

"_I have just received word from the secret mobile corps that Shihoin Yoruichi's reiatsu disappeared during a hollow attack. Signs were found that indicate she was killed."_

_He wasn't surprised at the fact death had claimed someone else near to him. What was surprising was that it could lay its hands on someone like her._

"_I know you were friends and…"_

"_What are you talking about?" he said callously, "I despised Shihoin Yoruichi. I am glad she is gone."_

_He flash stepped away, not daring to look back and allow Ginrei to see what was rising in his eyes. He kept flash stepping, moving at top speed, not stopping until he reached the sakura tree next to the waterfall. He dropped to his knees beneath it, staring out over the waterfall to the meadows and forests beyond. The wind was rising around him as his reiatsu swelled and tremored, rumbling through the trees and making the sakura blossoms dance in the air around him._

And strangely, his mind wouldn't let him focus on how she had teased him, called him ridiculous names, tormented him into chasing her down, bent on destroying her himself. All he could hear was the voice that used to sound in his ear when he was too tired to be angry anymore, when he had given up chasing her and had turned for home.

"_What's the matter? Are you giving up, Little Byakuya?"_

"_Hmph, you aren't worth the effort."_

_He could feel how her arms wrapped around him as they sat, resting beneath the sakura tree, how sometimes he was so exhausted, it was a relief to fall asleep there in her arms. He never once admitted it to her, of course. He had way too much pride for that. And sometimes…when it really mattered, it seemed that she respected that. It was in the way she held him while he rested after their training, in the sound of her voice echoing gently in his mind as he drifted in and out of sleep…and it was in the soft hands that waited until he was calm and senseless, then returned the stolen hair tie to his hair._

_And now she was gone._

_His tired mind could barely comprehend it. People like Shihoin Yoruichi didn't just get senselessly killed in minor scuffles. When someone like Shihoin Yoruichi died, it happened in battles of the highest sort, against a sea of enemies. And almost always, the death would occur in the way of sacrifice…a life given honorably, meaningfully. To have her disappear in a mere hollow attack was beyond unbelievable. It was a mistake. It had to be. Shihoin Yoruichi couldn't be dead. She couldn't. Because people like her didn't die that way…and if she was really dead, he would have known._

_He knew the way it felt when it was clear someone was lost. There was a disappearance of reiatsu, yes, but there was something deeper…something that felt like losing a part of one's own heart. He had felt it, often enough before. And he didn't feel that at all. He still felt her presence with him. He still felt her there in his heart. But if she wasn't dead, then why did she leave without saying anything?_

He felt as though there was no warmth left in his body. He burrowed into the blankets she had wrapped him in, but the cold still reached him. He was shivering with such cold that it made him dizzy. He felt himself being lifted again and hot liquid running down his throat, sinking into his core, fighting the ice in his veins. He was so achingly tired and wanted badly to surrender to sleep, but he couldn't sleep while feeling so awfully cold.

He heard her voice again, then felt the blankets being pulled away and a warm body settling in and wrapping itself around him. The coldness was still there, but he gave a sigh of relief as it began to recede. It was almost as though they were there again, beneath the sakura tree with petals floating down all around. He felt as though he had gone back in time, as if that moment of betrayal had never happened. And even though it had happened, he could allow himself, for just this one moment, to forget. Embracing the slowly building warmth, Byakuya surrendered to sleep wrapped warmly in those familiar arms.


	3. Reflections

**Chapter 3: Reflections**

Byakuya felt the light tickle of soft hair against the skin of his chest and opened an eye. He lay on his back with his arms wrapped around a warm, feminine body and his chin resting against the top of her head. He felt the warm, steady releases of her breath as it touched his skin. Some part of him realized all at once that he had been bared to the waist and that the woman resting so beautifully in his arms was completely naked.

His first impulse was, of course, to push her away. He almost did. But there was something about the way she looked as she lay sleeping…soft…lovely…vulnerable. Those were words he never would have applied to Shihoin Yoruichi.

So instead, he lay quietly with her sleeping in his arms, looking past her to the bright blue sky outside the cave, the lovely blends of green and brown grasses, the shadings of yellow and purple flowers that dotted the fields…and the trickling blue stream that split just before the entrance to the cave, one part flowing into the cave and disappearing within and the other meandering off into the distance. He silently wondered if the two separate branches ever met again, further down the path or if they continued to ramble on, each in its own direction, always passing close to each other, but never reaching out to close the distance. The thought made him release a soft sigh of something that felt like regret.

Yoruichi shifted in her sleep and he was inexplicably undecided in whether he wanted her to wake or to remain there entwined with him, sharing the early morning coolness and breezes. His eyes drifted closed again and his chin dropped slightly, so that nose and mouth were buried in her hair.

If he _did_ nothing, there would be no sign of his cognizance of her being there…

It he _said_ nothing, there would be no admission of a conscious desire for her to be there…

If he _felt_ nothing…but it was a little too late, he realized, to try to quell his body's response to finding itself wrapped around a lovely woman (even though she might be the devil, herself). He might have mourned Hisana well beyond the usual passage of time for mourning and might still harbor unresolved feelings, but he was, after all…male, and being that he wasn't yet dead, he was going to react to being wrapped around a naked woman.

And that, he realized, was what she had intended. His eyes narrowed slightly and a slow smirk crawled onto his face. He gave himself one more long moment of breathing her scent in, of enjoying the way she looked and felt, cuddled up against him. Then, he turned, as if shifting in his sleep and calmly rolled her into the water.

And felt himself being pulled in with her…

Gray and golden eyes flared in shock at the sudden rush of icy water on their skin. Gasps of surprise and fury rose out of them and blended together. They scrambled up onto the shore again, the loveliness of the morning disappearing into angry eyes and flaring tempers.

"What in kami's name do you think you are doing?" Yoruichi hissed, shifting quickly into cat form and beginning to lick the water from her soft coat.

He had, of course, forgotten…

And he hadn't expected, even so, that she would drag him in along with her…but then, a cat falling toward water _would_ extend its claws and try to grab onto something, even if that cat was in her shinigami form. He should have anticipated that.

"Are you just going to sit there shivering and staring at me, or are you going to dry off and change?" she asked in a furious tone.

He stared at her for a moment longer, then looked around and found a dry towel and yukata. Luckily, the towel had been sitting exposed to a shaft of sunlight and was comfortably warm. He dried the water from his bare upper body, then glared at her meaningfully and watched disapprovingly as she merely shifted so that her back was to him, and kept on licking her fur.

He wanted to grab her and throw her back in…

But he was shivering, perhaps both from the cold and from the remaining dregs of the fever that had gripped him. He wrapped the yukata around himself and pushed the hakama down before hastily tying the belt at his waist and tossing his wet clothes off into a corner. He realized rather suddenly that the effort of changing had deprived him of the minute amount of energy he actually had, and dropped forward, lowering his head and taking his weight onto his hands as his chest heaved softly and his body shook with icy coldness.

A moment later, she reappeared fully dressed and wrapped a warm blanket around him, pushing him down and adding another. She gathered some water in a cup and carefully directed a small flash of her power into it…just enough to heat the water, so that a gentle plume of steam rose off the surface. Even having seen her do it before, he couldn't help but be impressed at her precise control. She turned away for a moment, then turned back to him, holding a cup of hot green tea. He lifted himself slightly and took several swallows, shivering as the hot liquid fought the coldness that had settled inside him again. He sighed and closed his eyes, taking another swallow, then dropped back and relaxed as the warmth worked its way back into his body.

He could feel her watching as he trembled softly and closed his eyes, trying to slow his breathing, his heart, the shivering…

"So tell me," she said finally, "was it worth it?

He opened a calm gray eye and observed her for a moment.

"I don't know what you are talking about," he said calmly.

She eyed him as though she knew he was lying, but said nothing more. She watched him fight the coldness for a moment longer, then sighed and pulled the blankets away again.

"What are you doing? I'm…"

"You're freezing to death before my eyes, Kuchiki Byakuya," she said, wrapping herself around him again, "Just…hold still and try to get warm.

_Well, at least she's wearing clothes this time…_

XXXXXXXXXX

Rukia sat at the patio table in the garden and surrounded by her friends, but staring into her teacup and trying to ignore the empty seat across from her. She knew that even closing her eyes wouldn't erase the lonely feeling that was flooding her veins. There was an awful space there that he had once filled…a place where no family had been…where Renji was the only friend she had left, who still lived…and _he_ had come and, yes, _he_ had taken her away from Renji, but in the only way he was able at the time, Kuchiki Byakuya had given her something, too. He had given her a name…a home…a family. And even though she realized rather quickly that there were those in the family who objected to her adoption (even though they would never say so in her hearing), she was treated with respect…though not with any great amount of warmth. It had been a difficult and lonely stretch of time without Renji.

But then came her assignment in the living world, meeting Ichigo, making friends…friends so devoted that they would risk their lives to come and save her…so devoted that now, even before they were completely healed, they had come to her side to help her search for the man who had nearly killed both Renji and Ichigo, the one who had been ready to accept her execution as a necessity, the one who had been so shattered and disillusioned as Aizen Sousuke calmly explained how he, and everyone else, had been so carefully used and played against each other.

She didn't know what she had expected, but this outpouring of love and sympathy felt overwhelming, balanced against her brother's more passive displays of affection. Yes, she hadn't missed how he had looked at her when he thought she didn't notice, how he always seemed to take obstacles out of her path…and she knew that he had worked quietly in the background, keeping her safe and seeing to her general comfort…and when he was forced to support her execution, she knew that he had made himself pay for it inside…inside where no one could see. She sensed it and knew it for what it was…and therein, could not find it in herself to despise him for his mistakes.

She wasn't perfect, so she could hardly expect anyone else to be…not even _him_.

"Rukia," said Ichigo, gently interrupting her thoughts, "we are going to find him. We won't quit looking until we do."

"Ichigo is right," said Sado quietly, "he wasn't in any shape to have gone very far. We will keep looking."

"And we _will_ find him," said Orihime, placing a hand on her shoulder, "We promise."

"We will," added Uryu.

"I know you all mean well," Rukia said softly, still staring into her tea, "but if my brother doesn't want to be found, then we may never find him."

"Hey…" said Renji reprovingly, leaning forward and placing a hand on her arm, "haven't you learned yet that what we say we are going to do…we do…one way or another?"

"Yeah," agreed Ichigo, "so stop with the moping and go get dressed, will you? You're wasting time, just sitting there feeling sorry for yourself!"

"Ichigo, cut her some slack," muttered Renji, "She's been through a lot. You might consider that before you go running off at the mouth next time."

"Me!" exclaimed Ichigo, his eyes widening, "I was just _agreeing_ with you! So excuse me! I won't let that happen again!"

"_I_ was offering her encouragement!" objected Renji, "You started pummeling her!"

"I did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"Actually," said Uryu calmly, "you were rather abrasive…"

"Shut up and stay out of this!" Renji and Ichigo said together.

Suddenly, they stopped and found themselves staring as they realized that Rukia was wearing a small smile.

"You guys," she said quietly, "Thank you…"

XXXXXXXXXX

Byakuya woke in the late afternoon and found himself alone in the cave. He looked around briefly, but except for the light scent of her that remained upon his skin, there seemed to be little sign that she had been there.

He sighed and closed his eyes.

It was just as well…

It was better, he thought, to be in this removed place alone as he slowly uncluttered his thoughts…as he moved beyond the slow healing of his body and began to address the wasteland that was left where his heart had been.

His eyes opened.

He needed to deal with everything that had happened, but his heart still ached too badly. Those wounds were still too fresh. He hadn't distanced himself enough emotionally to be able to address them in any rational way…as if such a thing as Aizen Sousuke's betrayal had anything rational to it! No…it was senseless and cold…just like the man…the stranger that Aizen had become as he revealed his treachery.

And Kuchiki Byakuya's anger over that burned more hotly than the fever that had nearly claimed his life. But this fever burned far down beneath his skin…and only bits of it bubbled to the calm surface, disturbing it from time to time. Still…that anger would demand release at some point…and coming from him, it would be released with calmness and deadly precision.

If he could get himself back under control…

Right now, he was as weak and shaky as a newborn colt. And he could feel that his spirit centers were still not healed enough to bear the channeling of his power. He knew better than to even try just yet. No…power and revenge would come in time. His current focus had to be healing. All else was secondary until he was well.

And that's when the question struck him…

At what point did this stop being about running away from myself…and become about preparing for my next battle?

It was a change for the better, he knew. So perhaps, he was beginning to turn a corner of sorts.

But there was still a long way for him to go. And he wasn't going to get there by sitting there thinking about it. He needed to get back on his feet…to regain his strength.

Byakuya pushed the blankets away and pushed himself to his feet. His legs shook and his heart beat too fast. His ears rang and he felt as though his feet had become lead weights. But he was up and moving…slowly along the bank of the stream. He took step after painful step, walking until he dropped in his tracks, then sitting on the bank of the stream, taking small sips of water and feeling his strength slowly return, then climbing to his feet, falling, waiting, trying again and working his way slowly back to the cave.

He realized halfway back that he had pushed himself too hard. His ears rang like firebells and his legs turned to rubber. He started to fall, but somehow missed the point when his body actually hit the ground.

A comfortable haze settled over him and stole him away.

_"Baka!" Yoruichi hissed softly, sponging his face with a cool cloth, "I told you a hundred times…as your body accepts increased power, you must adjust to it gradually. You can't simply run out and test yourself to your new, higher limits. You have to adjust gradually…"_

"_Shut up! You're making my head spin, you awful cat!" he moaned, "Get away from me!"_

"_Oh, stop making such a fuss, you big baby!" she snapped at him, "You know you should have been more careful. If you push the limits too hard in your new powers, you will be forced to endure threshold sickness. Now, lie back down and rest before you kill yourself."_

"_I said, SHUT UP!" he raged, rolling to his feet and diving towards her, "and don't you EVER call me that again, you ridiculous ball of fur!"_

_She moved as he reached her, sending him crashing to the floor, then she stood over him, shaking her head. He dragged himself to his feet and stood facing her, his eyes flaring and his hands balled into fists._

"_Will you never learn, Kuchiki Byakuya?" she asked, narrowing her eyes._

_He opened his mouth again to insult her, but found instead that his legs had given way beneath him. She was there before he hit the ground, capturing him and flash stepping to his bed. She set him down and set the covers in place, then disappeared to make tea. He was dozing more comfortably by the time she returned. She lifted him and gave him a few sips, then let him turn away and settle down again. He had almost drifted off again when he felt Ginrei's spiritual pressure._

"_How is he now?" his grandfather asked._

"_Better," Yoruichi answered, "but it was pretty darned close."_

_Ginrei sighed._

"_I imagine that if he survives his own recklessness, he could grow to be one of our more powerful clan leaders…if…"_

_Yoruichi chuckled softly._

"_I wouldn't worry so much about him, but more about the fate of the people around him!"_

_He decided then and there that he was determined to kill her…_

But as he returned to awareness and felt that he was again within the cave, wrapped in blankets and held in her arms, Kuchiki Byakuya had to admit to himself that she had been right.

He destroyed everything in his path…

He made himself a promise to put that destructiveness to good use once he was well…


End file.
